SPINNING THE STORY

Our father, Yaakov, was not blessed with the nicest father-in-law. From the first time Yaakov met Lavan until they parted ways some two decades later, the third patriarch was subjected to cheating, swindling and lies.  Perhaps the finest example of Lavan’s unscrupulous behaviour was when he duped Yaakov into believing he was marrying Rachel, his beloved fiancée, when he was, in fact, marrying Leah. Yaakov had laboured tirelessly for Rachel’s hand in marriage for seven years and on the night of the wedding, Lavan substituted his older daughter for his younger. According to a Midrash, the sisters were identical twins (although some features, such as their eyes, were different) and thus the deception was credible. Moreover, the wedding feast took place at night and in those days it was pitch black. When Yaakov realised what had happened, he approached Lavan and demanded an explanation. Lavan was unapologetic. He claimed that, “it is not the way in our place for the younger daughter to marry before the older.” He then added insult to injury by informing Yaakov that he was welcome to marry Rachel after seven days had passed, provided he worked for him a further seven years. 

Yaakov was a hard-working and honest employee who was imminently successful in his job as a shepherd.  He brought much blessing to the house of Lavan and his father-in-law even admitted that his good fortune was a result of Yaakov’s coming to his home. His method of breeding the flock produced thousands of animals which he then sold and used the proceeds to amass great wealth. Yaakov also provided Lavan with twelve grandchildren before leaving his employ and a thirteenth grandchild while on his way back to the land of Canaan. Yet despite all of this, Lavan treated his son-in-law with disdain and contempt. He resented Yaakov’s success and he criticised him for petty matters. Finally, after two decades, Yaakov could take it no more. He held a private meeting with Rachel and Leah and suggested that they flee Lavan’s home. The sisters were in full agreement because they had also been subjected to Lavan’s abusive behaviour and they asked Yaakov, “are we not considered like strangers to him?” Rashi explains what they meant: Normally when a father marries off a daughter he provides her with a dowry, yet our father treated us like strangers and not only did he not provide us with a dowry but he “sold” us to you for the work you did. They stated emphatically that they had “no further portion in their father’s home” and they agreed to flee. 

Yaakov assembled his household, packed his possessions and, while Lavan was away tending to his flocks, he fled in the direction of Canaan. But Lavan soon learned what had transpired and gave chase. He caught up with Yaakov at Mt Gilead and accused him of deception, theft and depriving him of the right to bid farewell to his daughters and grandchildren. He even threatened Yaakov and told him that it was well within his ability to cause him harm but that God had appeared to him in a dream and warned him not to do so. Lavan presented himself as the defenceless victim; as one who has been deceived, robbed and hurt. He shed crocodile tears and made out as if Yaakov was a rogue. But Yaakov had learned how to handle Lavan and he forcefully stated that he had only ever acted in good faith and that he had worked for him with honesty and integrity. After an awkward confrontation, the two men made a pact agreeing not to harm one another and not to venture into one another’s territory except under specific conditions.

The life of Yaakov is viewed by our Sages as a portent of what would happen to his descendants, the Jewish people. They, too, would be exiled from their birthplace, persecuted and victimised. And, like Yaakov, who never forgot the lessons of his youth, the Jewish people throughout the Diaspora would not forget the teachings of their fathers and they would remain true to their values even in the midst of hostile neighbours.    The behaviour of Lavan was also an indication of the way in which Israel’s enemies would act. They would persecute the hapless Jews and then claim that it was they who were the victims. The Jew stole from them, cheated them, charged them too much interest, committed deicide and colluded with their enemies. The Jews were responsible for all the suffering and all the problems in society and therefore they were justified to expel them, arrest them, torture them and execute them. And so it was that throughout history, the Jew became not the victim of injustice but the perpetrator; not the subject of abuse but the abuser.

Unfortunately this has not ceased in the 21^st century and the events of the 7^th October and thereafter are confirmation of this. When the brutal terrorist attack took place in the south of Israel on Simchat Torah 5784, I was naively convinced that the world would finally see what Israel is up against. Hamas set out to kill as many Jews as possible in the most savage way and they were very successful. Their plan was not unlike that of Haman who wanted to kill “men, women and children” on a single day. This was genocide in every sense of the word. And yet, to our great shock but perhaps not amazement, Israel stands accused of perpetrating genocide against the Palestinians because of the just war they have been fighting in Gaza to destroy Hamas and rescue the hostages! What irony and what absurdity!   

In the Pesach Haggadah, Lavan, not Pharaoh, is described as the ultimate anti-Semite: “He wanted to uproot all of Jacob’s household whereas Pharaoh only plotted against the males.” This is an incredible insight. For more than two centuries the Israelites suffered at the hands of the Egyptians and yet the Torah warns us not to completely reject them because they offered us a place to live when we were desperate. We must be wary of the Egyptian, but his maltreatment of the Jew was largely for practical purposes. Not so, Lavan.  Yaakov had only ever done good for his father-in-law and yet Lavan sought to destroy him. He is the most ruthless and dangerous Jew-hater because he will turn against the Jew, betray him, and portray him as the complete opposite of what he is. We must stand up to such vile people as Yaakov did. We must stand our ground against them and proclaim our innocence and integrity. 

Lee, Chani Merryl & Naomi join me in wishing you Shabbat Shalom.  Rabbi Liebenberg

My family and I are away from 2 to 17 December. We wish you all a healthy and enjoyable December break.

Rabbi’s YouTube message for Shabbat: https://youtu.be/NfMJ1KapD2M