#1173 7th AND 8th DAY PESACH — 18 – 19 APRIL 2025 & 21 NISSAN 5785
THE SPLIT SEA AND THE BREAD FROM HEAVEN
Marriage as an institution is under attack. More and more couples do not see the need to formalise their relationship and are choosing simply to cohabit. People are also marrying much later in life and the divorce rate continues to rise steadily. After Prince William proposed to Kate Middleton, TIME Magazine (19 November 2010) featured an article on the state of marriage in the 21st century. They noted that “statistically speaking, a young man of William’s age – if not his royal English heritage – might be just as likely not to get married, yet. In 1960, the year before Princess Diana, William’s mother, was born, nearly 70% of American adults were married; now only about half are. Eight times as many children are born out of wedlock. Back then, two-thirds of 20-somethings were married; in 2008 just 26% were. And college graduates are now far more likely to marry (64%) than those with no higher education (48%).” There are many factors responsible for these trends. I would suggest that the challenges and complexities of marriage are largely incompatible with the values of a generation that is overwhelmed by instant gratification and a life of ease and convenience. Marriage involves sacrifice, selflessness and commitment, all of which are rather unpopular in the “I” generation. Marriage was never meant to be a simple matter, as the Talmud (Sotah 2a) states:
“Rabba bar bar Chana said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan, “It is as difficult [for God] to pair marriage partners as it was to split the Red Sea as the verse states (Psalms 68:7), “God settles lonely individuals into a household. He brings out prisoners at appropriate times…”
Rashi explains that the verse juxtaposes the pairing of individuals with the release of prisoners, indicating that they are of equal difficulty. The prisoners in the verse are a reference to the Israelites whom God released from Egypt at “an appropriate time” – in the spring – when it is neither too hot nor too cold. This passage poses many problems, least of which is the notion of something being difficult for God. Rashi writes rather cryptically that the difficulty of splitting the Red Sea was that “the natural order of creation had to be changed.” If that is so, then we must conclude that marriage, likewise, involves an alteration in the natural order of things. Another question is the unlikely comparison of marriage to the splitting of the Sea, which at first glance, have nothing in common. We can perhaps attempt to answer this conundrum by examining a similar passage elsewhere in the Talmud (Pesachim 118a):
“Rav Shizbi said in the name of Rabbi Elazar ben Azaria, “It is as difficult [for God to provide] food for a person as it was to split the Red Sea, as the verse states (Psalms 136:25), “He gives food to all flesh, for His kindness endures forever” and [several verses earlier ibid 13) it states, “He who parted the Sea of Reeds into parts, for His kindness endures forever.” Here Rashi is somewhat clearer: “This means that God performs a great miracle for those to whom He provides food just as He performed a miracle for Israel when He split for them the Sea. The practical outcome of knowing this is that one must plead for mercy [to receive his livelihood].”
We are not accustomed to thinking that the food that we eat comes to us in miraculous ways. We take its existence for granted and we view it as a natural, perfunctory matter. The Sages tell us otherwise: God’s provision of food to mankind is no less a miracle than the splitting of the Sea and it is for that reason that we must never stop praying for its continuation. In fact, one of the nineteen blessings of the Amidah is dedicated to this request (blessing 9, A Year of Prosperity). We do not see God’s Hand in our livelihood because the way food is produced and distributed appears to be entirely unremarkable. There was a time in Jewish history, however, when it was plain to all that God was the true provider. This period began shortly after the splitting of the Sea and continued for forty years. During these four decades, the Israelites were nourished by “bread from the heavens”, the manna that is described in parshat Beshalach (Shmot 16:4-36). Regarding this strange substance, Moses reminded the Israelites at the end of his life (Devarim 8:2-3):
“You shall remember the entire road on which Hashem, your God, led you these forty years in the Wilderness so as to afflict you, to test you, to know what is in your heart, whether you would observe His commandments or not. He afflicted you and let you hunger, then He fed you the manna that you did not know, nor did your forefathers know, in order to make you know that not by bread alone does man live, rather by everything that emanates from the mouth of God does man live.”
The Talmud (Yoma 74b) comments on the nature of the test of the manna: “One cannot compare someone who has bread in his basket to someone who does not have bread in his basket.”
The former does not worry about the next day, for he has bread aplenty. The latter worries what tomorrow will bring for he only has food for today. So it was for the Israelites in the Wilderness. Every day, only enough manna fell for that day. Any manna that was left over immediately rotted. This naturally caused great anxiety and worry. Will the manna fall tomorrow? Will God let them starve in the Wilderness? Before the first lot of manna fell, God spoke to Moses (Shmot 16:4): “Behold! – I shall rain down for you food from heaven; let the people go out and pick each day’s portion on its day, so that I can test them, whether they will follow My teaching or not.”
Rabbeinu Bachaye (Spain 1263-1340 on Shmot 13:17) puts this test, as well as the others the Israelites endured in the Wilderness, into perspective: “You should know that all of the happenings in the Wilderness were a complete test to the Israelites so that they would grow in their levels of trust in God, which is a fundamental aspect of faith, and thereby become fitting to receive the Torah. It is for this reason that God split the Sea gradually as they walked through it rather than in one instance. Likewise, when they emerged from the Sea and came to the Wilderness of Shur and then to Marah where the waters were at first sweet and then bitter and became sweet again when Moses threw the tree into them, this too was a test [of their trust in God]. Similarly, the provision of the manna on a daily basis rather than for many days at a stretch was a complete test, as the verse states, “so that I can test them.””
The connection between livelihood and the splitting of the Sea is now obvious. If God had split the Sea in one fell swoop from entrance to exit, this would not have tested the Nation’s resolve. As they moved through the Sea, a new section opened before them, so that every step they took was a new rung on the ladder of trust. Likewise, had God provided manna for weeks or months at a time, they would have taken their sustenance for granted; they would have had “bread in their basket.” The daily provision of manna was a lesson in trust that they should never take their food supply for granted. We can now return to the unlikely comparison between marriage and the splitting of the Sea. If one enters marriage with a romantic notion that the love experienced under the chuppah will continue from beginning to end and solve every problem, he or she will fail. But if one enters the bridal canopy with the attitude that each day is a test, a challenge and an opportunity for growth, then he or she will surely succeed. Just as we should not take the food on our tables for granted, likewise we should never take our spouses for granted. One can never be grateful enough, loving enough, kind enough or caring enough to last a lifetime. These virtues and many more must be nurtured every day.
Lee, Chani Merryl & Naomi join me in wishing you Shabbat Shalom and Chag Kasher V’Sameach.
Rabbi Liebenberg.