EAT TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER

The dramatic events described in parshat Vayeira – the visit of the angels to Avraham and Sarah; the destruction of Sodom; the abduction of Sarah by Abimelech; the birth of Yitzchak; the expulsion of Ishmael; the covenant with Abimelech at Beer Sheva and the binding of Yitzchak – are all bracketed by a series of meals.

The first meal is the one that Avraham served the three angels who were disguised as travellers. The Talmud (Bava Metzia 86b) says of this meal that it could rival the great feasts of King Solomon! Avraham selected three tender calves so he could give each guest tongue in mustard (ibid). He also brought them milk and butter and he personally served the visitors. The entire family was involved in the preparation of the meal. Sarah prepared bread and Ishmael prepared the calves that Avraham had selected. Although angels have no need for food or drink, they acted as if they were eating so as to maintain the local custom (ibid). Many aspects of the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim, hospitality, are derived from this passage (see Ahavat Chesed of the Chofetz Chaim, section III chapters 1-2)

The second meal was the one that Lot served in Sodom to two of the aforementioned angels. The celestial beings travelled from Avraham’s tent and arrived at Sodom in the evening. Their purpose was to save Lot and to overthrow Sodom and the neighboring towns of Gomorrah, Adma and Tzevoyim. Lot was at the gate of the city when he saw the wayfarers approaching and he offered them lodging at his home. At first they demurred, but he impressed upon them and they eventually agreed. The Torah (Bereishit 19:3) states, “And he urged them very much, so they turned toward him and came to his house; he made a feast for them and baked matzoth, and they ate.” Rashi, citing the Midrash (Tanchuma 15) notes that Lot had learned the value of hospitality from his uncle Avraham. This is why he readily offered them accommodation and food even though he was living in a city in which such behaviour was looked down upon. Rashi notes that he served them matzoth because it was Pesach. This is a strange and somewhat anachronistic comment as Pesach commemorates an event that had not yet happened, the exodus from Egypt. Whatever the case, Lot was a gracious host and according to Midrash (Bereishit Rabba 50:4), he had an argument with his wife about the menu. He wanted to serve the guests some salt with their meal and she would have none of it. She identified with the people of Sodom and felt that giving guests such a luxurious food item was against local custom. In a display of Divine irony, she was transformed into a pillar of salt when she looked back upon the destruction of Sodom (Bereishit 19:26).

The third meal was the one that Avraham hosted following the birth of Yitzchak (Bereishit 21:8): “The child grew and was weaned, Avraham made a great feast on the day Yitzchak was weaned.” The Midrash(Tanchuma Vayishlach 23), cited by Rashi, notes that the “greatness” of the meal was not in its size but rather as a result of those who attended. The son of Noah, Shem and his noble descendant Ever were present, as was Abimelech, the king of the Philistines. There were those who cast doubt on the paternity of Yitzchak. They claimed that his father was Abimelech because Sarah had been abducted by the king and had spent a night in his home. These doubts were removed at the party where everyone had a chance to see Yitzchak who bore a striking resemblance to his father (see Rashi 21:2 from Bereishit Rabba 53:6). There were also gossipers who claimed that Sarah did not give birth to Yitzchak and that he was a foundling she had adopted and passed off as her son. In order to dispel these rumours, she asked women to bring their babies to the party and she then nursed each one, clearly displaying to one and all that although she was ninety, she was able to bear a child and nurse him (Bava Metzia 87a). According to Tosafot (Shabbat 130a), this party took place following the brit milah of Yitzchak. The phrase beyom higamel et Yitzchak, “on the day Yitzchak was weaned”, can also be read as “on the eighth day he circumcised Yitzchak.” This would then be the most ancient mention of a meal at a bris.

The fourth and final meal was more of a perpetual nature. We are told (Bereishit 21:33), “He [Avraham] planted an eshel in Be’er Sheva, and there he proclaimed the Name of Hashem, God of the Universe.” According to the Talmud (Sotah 10a), this was either an orchard for wayfarers to take fruit or a type of an inn where visitors received food (achila), drink (shetia) and accommodation (lina), the first letters of which produce the acronym eshel. What does it mean by “he proclaimed the Name of Hashem”? The Talmud (ibid) explains: “And he planted an eshel in Beersheba, and called there [vayikra] on the name of the Lord, the Everlasting God”. Reish Lakish said: Do not read this word literally as “vayikra,” and he called, but rather as vayakri, and he caused others to call. This teaches that Avraham our forefather caused the name of the Holy One, Blessed be He, to be called out in the mouth of all passersby. How so? After the guests of Avraham ate and drank, they arose to bless him. He said to them: But did you eat from what is mine? Rather, you ate from the food of the God of the world. Therefore, you should thank and praise and bless the One Who spoke and the world was created.” 

Avraham was extremely successful in imparting the belief in God to those around him. He did not do so with intricate philosophical lectures or fire-and-brimstone sermons. He did it with food and gracious hospitality.   In my humble opinion, this remains the foremost method of outreach to Jews who are alienated from their religion. An invitation to a Friday night supper or a Pesach Seder at which delicious food is served can work wonders! The Talmud (Sanhedrin 103b) notes that providing food to a guest or hungry party is such a great mitzvah that when it is withheld, it has the power to create rifts between nations, as it did when the nations of Moab and Amon failed to provide the Children of Israel with provisions in the desert. As Rabbi Yochanan puts it: “[providing] food can draw close those who are far and withholding food can distance those who are close … it distanced Amon and Moab (cousins of the Jewish people, whose males are not permitted to marry into the Jewish nation) yet it brought close Moses to Yitro [when the latter invited Moses to eat after helping his daughters at the well].”

Shabbat is our weekly opportunity to eat together and host guests for meals. I cannot overstate the importance of a family eating together and sitting around a table. It is a vital method for strengthening family ties and improving relationships. It is a relaxed setting at which information can be shared; traditions are passed from one generation to another and children are taught the values of kindness, hospitality and gratitude. The dining room is as potent a location for education as any formal classroom, and I say this from experience. A meal is not just about food, it’s about connection, sharing and tradition!  

Lee, Chani Merryl & Naomi join me in wishing you Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Liebenberg.

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