A HOLY PEOPLE

“You shall not follow the practices of the land of Egypt in which you lived, and you shall not follow the practices of the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you, and you shall not follow their statutes.” (Vayikrah 18:3)

The above verse serves as an introduction of sorts to the Torah’s list of prohibited relationships. Rabbi Steinsaltz (Weisfeld Edition of the Humash) notes: “The pagan cultures of Egypt and Canaan differed from each other; however, regarding the topic of this passage, sexual morality, there were very few, if any, injunctions observed by either of these two cultures. Rampant promiscuity was characteristic of both Canaan and Egypt. As the children of Israel moved from Egypt to Canaan, they needed to be warned to observe the boundaries of sexual morality.”

The Talmud (Megillah 31a) notes that this is the section that is read on the afternoon of Yom Kippur. One would have thought that the rabbis could have selected something more ‘spiritual’ in keeping with the elevated status of the day.   Tosafot offers two explanations of the choice of this passage. One is that women would come to shul on Yom Kippur and would dress up elegantly for the occasion. Therefore the congregation needed a reminder to behave in an appropriate fashion! The second explanation, from the Midrash, is that the Torah reading is actually a subtle hint to God Himself: “Just as He warns the Jewish people not to expose the nakedness of a prohibited man/woman [a euphemism for sexual intercourse], so, too, should He not expose their nakedness and reveal their shameful sins.” Rashi explains that a person hearing the Torah reading, who has committed sins of this nature, will undertake to abstain in the future. This passage was selected because sexual sins are common and the desire to commit them is part of the human condition.

Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, of blessed memory, has a fascinating take on why this passage was chosen and its broader message for life as a Jew. He writes about this in a number of places, including the Koren Yom Kippur Machzor (pages 992-997). The following is abridged from one of his essays on parshat Vayeshev:

“One theme appears no less than six (possibly even seven) times [in the narratives about the patriarchs and matriarchs]. Whenever a member of the covenantal family leaves his or her own space and enters the wider world of their contemporaries, they encounter a world of sexual free-for-all.

Three times, Abraham (Bereishit 12 & 20) and Isaac (ibid, 26) are forced to leave home because of famine. Twice they go to Gerar. Once Abraham goes to Egypt. On all three occasions the husband fears he will be killed so that the local ruler can take his wife into his harem. All three times they put forward the story that their wife is actually their sister. At worst this is a lie, at best a half-truth. In all three cases the local ruler (Pharaoh, Avimelech), protests at their behaviour when the truth becomes known. Clearly the fear of death was real, or the patriarchs would not have been party to deception.

In the fourth case, Lot in Sodom (Bereishit 19), the people cluster round Lot’s house demanding that he bring out his two visitors so that they can be raped. Lot offers them his virgin daughters instead. Only swift action by the visitors – angels – who smite the people with blindness, saves Lot and his family from violence.

In the fifth case (Bereishit 34), Shechem, a local prince, rapes and abducts Dina when she “went out to visit some of the local girls.” He holds her hostage, causing Shimon and Levi to practise deception and bloodshed in the course of rescuing her and avenging her abduction.

Then comes a marginal case (Bereishit 38), the story of Judah and Tamar, more complex than the others and not part of the overall pattern. Finally there is the sixth episode…when Potiphar’s wife attempts to seduce Joseph. Failing, she accuses him of rape and has him imprisoned.

In other words, there is a continuing theme in Bereishit 12-50, a contrast between the people of the Abrahamic covenant and their neighbours, but it is not about idolatry, but rather about adultery, promiscuity, sexual license, seduction, rape, and sexually motivated violence. The patriarchal narrative is surprisingly close to the view of Freud that eros is one of the two primal drives governing human behaviour (the other is thanatos, the death instinct), and the view of at least one evolutionary psychologist (David Buss, in his books The Evolution of Desire and The Murderer Next Door) that sex is the main cause of violence amongst humans.

This gives us an entirely new way of thinking about Abrahamic faith. Emunah, the Hebrew word normally translated as faith, does not mean what it is taken to mean in English: a body of dogma, a set of principles, or a cluster of beliefs often held on non-rational grounds. Emunah means faithfulness, loyalty, fidelity, honouring your commitments, doing what you said you would do and acting in such a way as to inspire trust. It has to do with relationships, first and foremost with marriage.

Sex belongs, for the Torah, within the context of marriage, and it is marriage that comes closest to the deep resonances of the biblical idea of covenant. A covenant is a mutual act of commitment in which two persons, honouring their differences, each respecting the dignity of the other, come together in a bond of love to join their destinies and chart a future together. When the prophets want to speak of the covenantal relationship between God and His people, they constantly use the metaphor of marriage.

The God of Abraham is the God of love and trust who does not impose His will by force or violence, but speaks gently to us, inviting an answering response of love and trust. Genesis’ argument against idolatry – all the more impressive for being told obliquely, through a series of stories and vignettes – is that it leads to a world in which the combination of unchecked sexual desire, the absence of a code of moral self-restraint, and the worship of power, leads eventually to violence and abuse…

What the stories of the patriarchs and matriarchs tell us is that faith is not proto- or pseudo-science, an explanation of why the natural universe is as it is. It is the language of relationships and the choreography of love. It is about the importance of the moral bond, in particular as it affects our most intimate relations. Sexuality matters to Judaism, not because it is puritanical but because it represents the love that brings new life into the world.

When a society loses faith, eventually it loses the very idea of a sexual ethic, and the result in the long term is violence and the exploitation of the powerless by the powerful. Women suffer. Children suffer. There is a breakdown of trust where it matters most. So it was in the days of the patriarchs. Sadly, so it is today. Judaism, by contrast, is the sanctification of relationship, the love between husband and wife which is as close as we will ever get to understanding God’s love for us.”

Lee, Chani Merryl & Naomi join me in wishing you Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Liebenberg.

This week’s YouTube message: https://youtu.be/Lfns3E2H588?si=xdCbbB-IqRPt8JaN

PESACH SHEINI – 14 Iyar / Friday 1 May

This coming Friday is Pesach Sheini, the ‘second Passover’ (see Bamidbar 9:1-14). In the days of the Temple, if one became impure through contact with a dead body or was too far away and could not bring the Pesach sacrifice on the 14^th Nissan, one would have the opportunity to offer it a month later. There was no requirement to remove chametz from one’s home for the second Pesach, but the sacrifice, itself, could not be eaten together with any leaven products, but rather with matzo and bitter herbs. Some commemorate Pesach Sheini by eating matzo and omitting Tachnun.